Chess. A Seventh Graders Nemesis.

Roughly 85% of seventh graders don't know how to play chess. Cue monologue.

There I am, standing the back of a full computer lab while my little sevies take a reading placement test. Like any sensible teacher, we let the students play chess on the computer once they have completed the exam in order to maintain the zero talking rule. I think nothing of it. Chess is common knowledge right? Comes with the territory of...life doesn't it? It's a big brothers, fathers or grandfathers duty to teach everyone in their family how to play...am I right?

Apparently not.

I first notice a young lady trying to move a pawn all the way across the board, to no avail. Then she tried to move the knight to the places the pawn couldn't go. Again, no avail. Then the rook and you guessed it, the rook cannot jump diagonally across the entire opposing team of pieces. Finally she gets the pawn to move forward one. I watch in amusement and a little disbelief. 'She really has no idea how to play' keeps running through my mind. Then I pan out and look at other kids playing chess with the same random, nonsensical moves.

'My gosh, these kids have no idea how to play chess.'

This happened period after period.

I wanted so badly to go to the the board and diagram the 'L' the knight moves in, show that the bishop only goes diagonally and the rook only straight. That pawns are the ones to sacrifice. That the king is basically an invalid and the queen has all the power! Sadly, that would have been way over their heads. I did see some of them rocking their games of chess, maneuvering and strategizing as much as a twelve year old knows how to, which did make me feel better about their generation, but then I'd see an entire row of students essentially reenacting the French Revolution with team computer as the guillotine.

I quietly reminisced about those afternoons I learned and played chess in my brothers room because I was the only one who would play with him. Who cares if I'm not actually sure if to this day I have won a game ever, at least I can explain it.

In other seventh grade news, the realization hit that cursive will never be mandatory again and we couldnt care less what color pen you use. Also, please don't ask me if you can go blow your nose, I'd rather not be made aware of your sinus congestion. Go ahead and clear it out as necessary. Tissues are made available for your convenience.