Unlike Santa, the Tooth Fairy and Global Warming, Stupid Questions DO Exist.

I don't care what your over-indulgent mother told you, stupid questions do exist and they do so in mass quantities. I encounter at least 2 a period on a good day. (Comes with the territory, I know).

Through my schooling and other experiences, I have found that there are some things that are simply not innate in all human beings, namely common sense, tact, and mental/verbal filters. May be so bold to say that I believe I possess at least traces of all of these things and can therefore be a fair judge of when these oh-so-important social qualities are missing.

Anyway. Stupid Questions.

Ms. Kern: 'Please get out one piece of blank paper for each table.'
Student: (Holding up a piece of blank lined paper) 'Does this work?'
Ms. Kern: 'Is it blank?'
Student: 'Oh...yeah...'

Student: 'Do you want us to write that whole thing?'
Ms. Kern: 'What do you think?'
Student: (Starts writing)

Student: 'I don't have a pencil.'
Ms. Kern: 'Sounds like a personal problem.'
Student: (Blank stare)
Ms. Kern: 'Ask your friends for one.'

Student (who was absent for a chapter of the book we are reading in class): 'Can you quickly summarize chapter 4 for me?'
Ms. Kern: 'No, but you can check out book and read it at home.'
Student: 'I don't really want to...'
Ms. Kern: 'Great. Read it tonight like you're supposed to when you're gone.' (hands begrudged student a book who then asks when my cooperating teacher is going to be back. I so wanted to say 'She doesn't like you either', but instead I said 'I'll be here until Thanksgiving.' That whole tact thing).

Student: 'Do we have a Quick Write today?'
Ms. Kern: 'Do we do a Quick Write everyday?'
Student: 'Yes.'
Ms. Kern: 'There you go.'

One day we were in the computer lab writing their survival stories as part of their current unit. I had just given my little speech about how the word 'I' should always be capitalized and whenever I see it lower case a little bit of my soul dies. In my seventh period this cute boy calls me over and with complete seriousness asks me 'What if it doesn't do it for me?' Praying he isn't meaning what I think he is I ask 'What if what doesn't do it for you?'

'Capitalize the 'I'.'

Eye twitch.

'What do you think the shift button is for?'

The kid next to him just looked up at me and smiled. Thank goodness not all of my student have been ruined by auto correct and texting.

I find a kind of pleasure from turning questions that really don't have to be iterated back on the student. Too many people go through life thinking that everything is going to spelled out for them and that everything they say should be documented. Such is not the case, even with adults. I love having students answer their own dumb questions by asking them dumb questions back. The best part, it works. The stupid I'm-just-to-lazy-to-figure-it-out-myself questions have diminished immensely since the beginning of the year. I have also developed an amazing pointing talent. I am really good at pointing at stuff when they ask me stupid questions they know the answers to.

Student: 'I wasn't here yesterday what did we....'
Ms. Kern: (pointing at the clearly labeled 'What We Did While You Were Gone' basket)

Student: (Concerning the daily journals on a Friday) 'What do we write down for Wednesday and Thursday...'
Ms Kern: (pointing at the board where is says 'Wednesday: Pre-test, Thursday: Comp Lab')
Student: 'No. Wednesday and Thursday.'
Ms. Kern: (still pointing)
Student: (turns around to see what is being pointed at) 'Oh, haha, I didn't read that.'

Yes, stupid questions are a fact of anyone's life who works with people, particularly young adults. I tolerate them, but I do not enable them. I believe it is one of those hard lessons that just needs to be learned and I am more than ok with helping start the process.